Last email from David Bloom to his wife Melanie

This was the last e-mail that the CNN reporter, David Bloom, sent to his wife the night before he died of pulmonary embolism back in 2003 while he was reporting on the war in Iraq. I keep this e-mail printed out tucked inside my devotional book to read and reflect on from time to time. I pray that I will have the heart like David Bloom did.  

Last e-mail from David Bloom to his wife Melanie:

It's 10a.m. here Saturday morning, and I've just been talking to my soundman Bob Lapp about his older brother, whom he obviously loves and admires very much, who's undergoing chemotherapy treatment for Leukemia. Here Bob is - out in the middle of the desert - and the brother he cares the world for - who had been the picture of health, devoted to his wife and kids, is dying. Bob can't wait to be home to be with him, and I can't wait to be home to be with all of you. 

You can't begin to fathom - cannot begin to even glimpse the enormity - of the changes I have and am continuing to undergo. God takes you to the depths of your being - until you are at rock bottom - and then, if you turn to Him with utter and blind faith, and resolve in your heart and mind to walk only with Him and toward Him, He picks you up by your bootstraps and leads you home. 

I hope and pray that all my guys get out of this in one piece. But I tell you, Mel, I am at peace. Deeply saddened by the glimpses of death and destruction I have seen, but at peace with my God, and with you. I know only that my whole way of looking at life has turned upside down - here I am, supposedly at the peak of professional success, and I could frankly care less. Yes, I'm proud of the good job we've all been doing, but - in the scheme of things - it matters little compared to my relationship with you, and the girls, and Jesus. There is something far beyond my level of human understanding or comprehension going on here, some forging of metal through fire. 

I shifted my book of daily devotions and prayers to the inside of my flak jacket, so that it would be close to my heart, protecting me in a way, and foremost in my thoughts. When the moment comes when Jim or John or Christine or Nicole or Ava or you are talking about my last days, I am determined that they will say 'he was devoted to his wife and children and he gave every ounce of his being not for himself, but for those whom he cared about most - God and his family.' Save this note. Look at it a month from now, a year from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now. You cannot know now - nor do I - whether you will look at it with tears, heartbreak and a sense of anguish and regret over what might have been, or whether you will say - he was and is a changed man, God did work a miracle in our lives. But I swear to you on everything that I hold dear - I am speaking the truth to you. And I will continue to speak the truth to you. And, not to be trite, but that will set me free. 

God bless you, Melanie. I love you and I know that you still love me. Please give the girls a big hug - squeeze 'em tight - and let them know just how much their daddy loves and cares for them. 

With love and devotion, 

Dave.